Well, that was hard!
We have mostly successfully downsized the contents of our 2,168 square-foot house that we lived in for 20 years with three kids and multiple dogs into a 10-by-12 storage unit. We plan to spend the next three years traveling and living in various countries around the world. The contents of the storage unit will end up with us when we decide where we want to end up.
Squishing the bulk of our worldly possessions into such a small space has been a huge challenge, forcing us to question some fundamental beliefs and to reexamine what we value. It’s also, at times, been a test to our relationship. For those of you who are planning to go through this process (and we know that some of our friends who are working in busy, often stressful jobs, are planning it as soon as this week), here’s some advice:
- Start early and have a tentative deadline
We set a tentative “retirement time” about 18 months prior to the actual event. Although the date slipped by a few months, we had a general target to shoot for.
Having a deadline is important. Otherwise, you can keep putting things off. Whether it’s a real deadline (we are closing on the house in four weeks!) or one that you set artificially, try to stick to it. This process takes a tremendous amount of time, and even if you start early, you will still be rushing it at the end. Be prepared for that. You also should set a date for a celebration once you reach the end.
- Take your time
Even with a looming deadline, do not rush this activity. You need to go through your stuff. Empty the boxes in the attic, the basement, and the garage. Go through your books, remembering that you can check out nearly every book on the planet from a library, including online check out. (It’s okay to keep the Pulitzer Prize-winning book signed by the author.) Go through your closets, whether it’s clothes closets, linen closets, or “storage” closets. Do get rid of the clothes that you are saving for when you lose weight and the six sets of extra towels that you were given as wedding presents and that you don’t use because they don’t match the bathroom. Go through the kitchen cabinets and drawers. Each individual item needs to be looked at, and that takes time. If you don’t do it this way, you will just start throwing things in boxes at the end, and that won’t help you in the long run.
- Realize it’s an emotional process
We’ve all heard about Marie Kondo, the downsizing guru who tells you to ask yourself if an object sparks joy when deciding to keep it or not. There’s something to that, on one hand. On the other hand, while our older daughter’s preschool art still sparks joy, it’s wrinkled and falling apart and takes up tremendous amounts of space. Digital photographs of the art are actually better than keeping the art itself.
The process goes beyond sparking joy, though. So many memories get tied up in stuff. Somewhere along the line, I realized I didn’t need either of my grandmothers’ knickknacks to remember them. The handiwork that one did, such as an exquisite crocheted bedspread, and the delicious recipes handed down by the other, are important. Those are worth storage space to me. The other items, such a little ceramic dog that sat on a shelf collecting dust and then in a box in the attic, just don’t need to be kept.
Acknowledge emotional ties to objects. It’s okay to be sentimental, but weigh those sentiments against the amount of space you have, and remember that space equals money, whether that’s a storage unit or the size of your house.
- Cut your partner some slack
If you are going through this process with your life partner, be nice to him or her. Remind him or her to be nice to you, too. It’s hard on both of you. Some items that are vitally important to one of you may be worthless trash to the other. Learn to compromise. Communicate why certain things are important to you—why you feel it belongs. Take time apart to cool off when necessary, and realize that, in the end, your relationship, not the stuff you have, is what’s most important.
- Goodwill and other thrift stores are your friends
This is where the cliché of “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” comes in. We have a big SUV, and we filled it with eight loads that went to a nearby Goodwill. We also donated countless small items to a thrift store in our hometown. We felt “lighter” after every load, and those items are now being used for good causes. You can also give items away to relatives and friends (trampolines, BBQ grills). This is a great way to get rid of things that are cheaper to buy in your new location than to store and/or transport. By the way, remember to get receipts and keep records of donations if you itemize your taxes. Depending on how much stuff you get rid of, it could pay off with IRS.
- Don’t be afraid to throw things away
I tease that my husband has an Irish last name but a Scottish soul. He’s tight with money. The idea of throwing away perfectly useful items goes against his grain. Still, seven partially used bottles of sunscreen just can’t be kept. Throwing that kind of stuff away earlier in the process is easier than trying to scramble as your deadline approaches. In the end, we had to throw away a couch that we couldn’t sell or even give away. The world is not worse off because the couch ended up at the dump.
- Then, go through everything a second – and even a third – time!
You will find as you do this that getting rid of things actually gets easier the more you do it. So, do a first round. Then go through what you’ve kept and get rid of more stuff. By the time you get close to your deadline, you may just find yourself tossing stuff that you originally thought you couldn’t live without.
Downsizing is a process. It takes time, physical and emotional energy, and a great deal of patience. In the end, though, you will have less stuff weighing you down and more time to focus on the rest of your life. Enjoy that, once the hard part is done.